Google Works in Mysterious Ways

It's Friday, after 5:00 p.m., meaning I'm currently harboring the attention span of a fruit fly. Despite the pile of work I have to get done between now and Monday, my inability to focus on anything for more than five seconds has led me to the boundless (and often pointless) task that is random googling.

Whether or not we choose to admit it--we all google. We google ourselves, our family members, our friends, our second grade enemies, that girl who sat next to us in freshman seminar, our dentists, our doctors, and, well, you get the picture. Most searches come up fruitless, unless your friend/ex-boyfriend/neighbor is famous, or has participated in some kind of event (often sports-related, like running) that posts results online. However, in recent google searches on myself, I've been very distraught to find the first link that popped up after I entered my name was an awful picture of me from my senior year at the Mount. The photo--in which I appear chubby cheeked, pencil-necked (yes, it is possible to have both chubby cheeks and a skinny neck), squinty-eyed, and frizzy-haired--was most likely taken after either a) I woke up from one of my daily afternoon naps or b) after a night out at Ott's. Or both. It's possibly the worst photo ever taken of me (subtracting all of those awkward- stage pictures from 7th, 8th, 9th...and, oh yeah, 10th and 11th grades that I've since destroyed), and it had followed me like a stray dog for the past five years or so.

I felt as though this photo was defining my google persona-- what if someone from my past looked me up and saw the photo? I could imagine them grimacing with horror---Woah, Sarah's really let herself go. Of course, this is assuming that people are as lame as I am and actually google on a regular basis. And that they'd choose to google me.

But I digress. This afternoon, seeing that I had nothing better to do (why work today when I can do everything on Sunday night?), I googled myself. And, surprise, surprise, the photo is GONE! Vanished into the internet ether. It's as though the Google Gods decided they had had enough of their silly little game of torturing me and sent the link to Google heaven (or hell). So try googling me: All you get are sub-par race results and random articles.

Now if I could only come up with a way to erase all of those boring and shoddily-written Print Solution pieces...