So I'm learning there are things that you just have to get used to when you have a baby. Or, for me, when your sister has a baby. These things include casual coversations about poop, pee,
burps, gas, and of course...breasts. Not the baby's breasts, of course. The mom's. And what I've discovered about the latter is that the baby business has come up with all sorts of puns to celebrate them: "Brest Friend" (a breast-feeding pillow), "The Breastaurant" (as in It's time for the baby to take a snack at the Breastaurant) and, here's a new one for ya: the "Upper Breast Side." That, my friends, is the name of a store that sells everything a nursing mother could ever desire--bras, shirts, dresses, pumps, pads--located (where else) but on the Upper Breast (oops I mean West!) side.
With Sam snuggled up away in his adorable little Infantino sling, Leezie and I hauled up to 71st and Columbus to check out the goodies. I think I expected something along the lines of Buy Buy Baby or Destination Maternity: a SuperStore for moms. What we got was more along the lines of a tiny closet without even a display window--blink and you'll walk right by. When we walked in, we were quickly escorted the back room where Leezie was told to strip down so she could be measured. Another woman--with her 5-week-old in town--did the same. Then another woman, 9-months pregnant. Talk about being out of your element: There I was, surrounded by new (or soon-to-be new) moms, naked from the waist up, being measured by some woman who kept saying her baby was "39 years old" (that joke got old pretty fast, especially when she admitted on more than one occasion that she, too, wore the nursing clothes...for their comfort). Not knowing what to do, I started looking at the clothes. But when I reached for a dress folded up on a shelf, I was quickly reprimanded not to touch the merchandise.
Quite the experience, to say the least, but Leezie did get some good stuff out of it, so I guess it was worth taking a trip to the Upper Breast Side (sorry, had to do it one more time...).
2 comments:
I guess it is just "breast" to keep your hands off the merchandise!Har~Har, I'm sorry I couldn't help it!Is the rule "if your not lactating~your not shopping".Very weird!
Sarah, I was a friend of your sister, Aliza, at Gaithersburg High School. I tried to look her up on the web and came across your blog. And I am guessing this story of Leezie and baby Sam is about her. How wonderful that she has a baby! I have 3 children. Would you please give her my email? It's lgscheidle@gmail.com I was Laura Hadley, then, now Laura Gscheidle. Here's some info to let her know it's really me...Mr. Lewis was our beloved drama teacher in Summer School for the Performing Arts. And the last time I saw Aliza was in Summer Dinner Theatre at MC. Feel free to delete all of this from your blog, but I could not find another way to contact you other than commenting.
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